France is often admired for its refined culture, gastronomy, and way of life. However, what many visitors don’t realize is that there is a very specific social code underlying daily interactions. Understanding French etiquette will not only help you blend in but also make your trip more enjoyable and authentic. Here’s a complete guide to the essential rules of French politeness, including greetings, “la bise,” formalities, and dining manners.

Greetings — The Foundation of French Etiquette

The French take greetings seriously. Whether you are entering a shop, meeting someone for the first time, or just passing a neighbor, the first step is always to greet.

• Always say Bonjour or Bonsoir: This is non-negotiable. Even if you are just asking for directions or buying a baguette, you must start with “Bonjour.” After 6 PM, switch to “Bonsoir.”
• Salut: Informal, used among friends, family, or very familiar colleagues.
• Au revoir: Always say goodbye when leaving a shop, café, or meeting.
• Merci, s’il vous plaît, pardon: Use these words generously. Politeness is highly valued.

Skipping a greeting is considered rude, even if you don’t speak French well.

The Art of “La Bise”

“La bise” is the famous French cheek kiss, but it is more complex than you might think.

• Who does it? Friends, close colleagues, family, or even acquaintances.
• How many? Usually 2 kisses (one on each cheek), but this can vary by region (from 1 to 4).
• How to do it: Light cheek-to-cheek contact while making a kissing sound. No actual lips on the cheek.
• When to avoid it: In formal or professional settings unless initiated. Handshakes are common in business.

If you are unsure, let the other person lead.

Formalities — More Important Than You Think

• Titles matter: Use “Monsieur,” “Madame,” or “Mademoiselle” when addressing someone formally.
• Vous vs. Tu: “Vous” is the formal “you” and should be used with strangers, older people, or anyone in a formal context. Use “Tu” only with children, close friends, or when invited to do so.
• Don’t jump into first names too quickly: Wait until invited.

Respecting these subtleties will instantly make you sound more local.

Dining Etiquette — At Home or in Restaurants

Dining in France comes with its own set of rules:

• Wait to be seated: Don’t pick your own table unless the waiter tells you.
• Say “Bon appétit”: Always said before starting to eat.
• Keep hands on the table: But not elbows.
• Bread goes directly on the table: Not on the plate.
• Use cutlery properly: The fork stays in the left hand, knife in the right.
• Finish everything on your plate: It’s a sign of appreciation.
• Tipping: It’s optional but appreciated. Just round up the bill.

Invitations to French Homes

If you are invited to a French home:

• Bring a small gift: Flowers (but not chrysanthemums), wine, or chocolates.
• Punctuality: Arriving 10–15 minutes late is actually polite.
• Compliment the food: Always.
• Say “Merci pour l’invitation” when you leave.

Small Talk and Conversation

• Avoid too personal topics: Money, politics, and religion are usually avoided.
• Compliments: Subtle and moderate.
• Be patient: The French appreciate intellectual and philosophical conversation.
• Don’t interrupt: Let people finish their sentences.

The Importance of Politeness

French society highly values politeness. Even simple interactions come with rituals. By taking the time to greet, thank, and respect these codes, you will gain the respect of locals and might even make a few friends along the way.

Bonus — Typical Situations

• At the boulangerie: “Bonjour, une baguette s’il vous plaît.” Don’t forget to greet and say thank you.
• Meeting someone new: Shake hands or la bise depending on the context.
• Being introduced: Wait to be invited to use first names.

Conclusion

French etiquette may seem intimidating at first, but it is mostly about showing respect, moderation, and attention to others. Mastering these small gestures will make your experience in France much smoother — and much more French.